Archive for Thursday, November 8, 2007

De Soto’s Main Street had a lot to offer in early 1900s

November 8, 2007

This phoney obituary ran in the De Soto Eagle Eye Nov. 13, 1919, and actually was an advertisement for wares offered by downtown shops.

Billy Dingbats, 10 years, two months and 17 ticks old, (Wilson time) son of old Hiram Dingbats, the well-known and popular junk man, had his hide fatally punctured yesterday while playing in front of the offices of the De Soto Lumber Company, by a .22 caliber revolver just bought of Ralph Hiddleston, the good-looking and accommodating partner of Fred Stuchbery, of the Stuchbery & Hiddleston Hardware Co.

The bullet entering his left side, made a bad powder burn in a new suit purchased from The Taylor Mercantile Co.'s. special offerings as advertised last week in the Eagle Eye.

The lad was attempting to open a box of delicious chocolates, which he had just purchased from Coker Brothers up-to-date general store, when the sad accident happened. As Billy fell to the ground he almost busted an expensive never-squirt fountain pen, sold only by A.C. Cooke's drugstore, it being saved only by a triple composition rubber case, furnished each purchaser without extra charge.

The funeral was held in the commodious undertaking parlors of J.D. Chambers, who also carries a line of hardware, musical instruments, etc., and the service was in charge of that eloquent and tear-producing pulpit pounder and sob artist, Rev. I. M. Mournful. It was a very sad affair and many handkerchiefs were in evidence, among them were several of those beautiful lace-edged ones, which the Kaw Valley Mercantile Co. are selling for 98 cents along with several good values in merchandise they are offering this week.

The money to pay the funeral expenses was loaned to Hiram Dingbats by the De Soto State Bank.

And so this ends the obituary of poor Billy Dingbats. May he rest in peace even in these strenuous times of Bolshevism.

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